Why Hamstrings Are Overrated

Hey world, apparently there is a community of these so called coaches raging about the importance of Hamstrings. This group of 3 muscles make up the posterior chain that some guys say makes you strong or something. No offence to these bros, but I think they don’t know what they’re talking about. After all when is the last time you pulled a bicep? Now remember the last time you crippled yourself with a hamstring pull. Still interested, cause I got buckets more of this junk.*

#1

You can’t see your hamstrings in the mirror. What is the point of training a muscle if you can’t walk up to any old mirror and see them? We have muscles for show, those are on the front. Then we have these so called muscles for go, which I have to strain my neck to see. No thank you sir. Depending on how big your shorts are that may even include those pesky quads. If your shorts hang past your knees then just do some crazy calves and forget about it.

#2

Like I said, you’re so much more likely to pull them. I mean c’mon, I’ve never pulled a bicep muscle. Meanwhile each time I do a quad workout one day, and then tray and sprint the next I always tear a hammie. I mean, the coincidence almost makes me think it’s my fault. Like underdeveloped hamstrings and oversized quads can lead to increased injury risks. I train my quads cause I can see them, ‘nuf said.

not for me no thank you

#3

Jumping is for basketball players, not swole guys. Everyone is raging at how developed hamstrings make you athletic by improving speed and jumping. I’m not in the NBA, why would I want to jump high. Sure I can’t sink a 3, or drive the lane, or make anything not within a foot of the basket. But when I’m not covered down low expect me to make that shot [1/3 times at least]. Plus who thinks dunking the ball is cool? Nobody that’s who, amaright?

what is that, a 12 inch vert? You must lift

#4

Knees were meant to just break. Somewhere somebody is saying that developed hamstrings have been shown to prevent knee injuries. They’re also complaining about how weak hamstrings can be a precursor for possible future injuries, or something. Based on my old man, and basically all old people I’ve met, knees are just meant to fall apart around your 40’s. It’s not like a super old guy ever did crazy hard manual labor like build a giant boat or anything. After 40 you just do curls and maybe a spin class.

proof you can't be old and muscular.

See those are just four reasons to say cya to your rear door rubber bands and hello to a life minus RDL’s with a moderate weight for 6-8 reps. Who has time to do hyper extensions with a weight for sets of 12 to induce hypertrophy. I mean, who in their right mind even wants to do squats below parallel when quarter reps can really hit those quads we were talking about. I know I won’t miss doing reverse hypers for sets of 12 or good mornings for sets of 8. All of those things are just too much work for what I can’t show off. Have fun being free from your obnoxious hamstring workouts 'Merica.

*[Funny story, this whole thing was actually just satire! My hamstrings are probably the biggest muscle on my body, hope you read to the bottom! ] {brought to you by JK productions}